


World Gone Mad

by WingsandImpalas



Series: Everything from tumblr prompts to Coda’s to lil drabbles [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, Bittersweet Ending, End of the World, Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, Fight Sex, Last Night on Earth, M/M, Missing Scene, Season 5 coda, So much angst, hurt then comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-18 19:37:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17587073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WingsandImpalas/pseuds/WingsandImpalas
Summary: Based on the post by@helianthus21:okay but s5!Destiel passing that last night on earth Dean-style and bc Dean is emo he says afterwards that “it doesn’t mean anything” and bc Cas is not used to being this vulnerable he agrees and then they’re two idiots pining for each other from their respective side of the bed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So prepare for angst thats all I gotta say because this prompt stuck with me and I wanted everyone to feel my pain. Huge thanks to [@envydean](http://envydean.tumblr.com/) for beta'ing this for me after I rushed through writing it this morning your an angel.

It’s five minutes to midnight when Dean presses hard on the gas and passes through Indiana. He doesn’t think about the promise he’s breaking right now because it probably doesn’t count anymore. Sam said to leave him alone if he went to Hell - to live an apple pie life with Lisa and Ben like it’s that simple. And, maybe if the world was saved, it would be possible. But, considering the fact Sam is now a puppet for the devil, Dean is choosing to believe the promise is now void. If the world is ending, he wants to spend it trying to bring Sammy back, not faking happiness with a woman that probably won’t want his damaged ass anyway.

He turns the radio off, unable to listen to tales of destruction because he can’t possibly believe there's no hope left. Sure there's a chance Dean won't get his brother back in Stull, more than a chance really because even if he gets Sam free from Lucifer, his baby brother's still going to Hell. Dean will be damned if he lets his brother go for anything less than saving the world. He’s not like Cas and Bobby.

At least that's what Dean believes until he hears the now foreign flap of wings.

He turns, ready for some angry angel following orders to drag him back to Michael's side, only to find Cas slumping over in the backseat. “Jesus Christ!” He yells swerving the car.

Cas coughs up blood, “not quite,” he answers in that steely, unwavering voice like his double nose bleed is no big deal.

Dean turns back to the road, correcting the car and glaring at Cas through the rear-view mirror. “I thought you couldn’t find me anymore.”

Cas wipes his nose against the sleeve of his trenchcoat, staining the sleeve red. “Bobby tracked your phone. He’s about two hours behind us.”

“And what, you couldn’t hold your horses long enough to not kill yourself by flying?” Dean says trying not to get his hopes up that maybe Cas is in this with him. That, despite what he said earlier about Sam and what he did in that alleyway, Cas still has faith in him. “What happened to your plan to drink yourself to death?”

Shrugging, Cas shifts as he pulls out Bobby's flask from his coat pocket. Dean rolls his eyes. “I still plan to drink whatever is in this,” he says unscrewing the cap, necking a huge gulp of Bobby's whiskey like it's fucking holy water or some shit. Dean's throat burns in sympathy.

“So what, you believe I can save Sam now or something?” Dean asks defensively so he’s not caught staring at the long column of Cas’s throat because even at the end of the world when Cas has all but given up on him Dean's still hopelessly enamoured by him.

“No,” Cas answers squinting at the flask, his voice impossibly rougher. “I’m hoping I can change your mind about going.”

“You can’t. So shut up about it or get out of my car.” Dean says bitterly. Of course, Cas doesn’t believe in him or Sam. They broke him and the fucking world while they were at it. Dean's just trying to fix what he can now, despite Cas’s fucking pessimism.

Cas sighs, moodily looking out the window like a pouting teenager. “I don’t think I can fly again.”

Dean snorts. “Yeah, well get comfortable because I ain't stopping.”

——————  
The drive after that is astonishingly silent. Cas radiates a dark cloud of depression and judgement from the back seat, shrivelling up whatever hope Dean has in him. When they hit Missouri, the rain starts, creating a heavy sheet to match Cas’s mood and Dean's tired eyes are squinting to see anything.

An eleven-hour drive is impossible on the best of days, but now he doesn't even have someone to switch with. Since Sam’s not here, Dean ends up pulling at the first motel he sees. Like a puppy, Cas’s head rises from the window when the car stops, looking both sympathetic and hopeful. Dean hates him a little bit. “Don’t get your hopes up. I’m just getting four hours then I’m heading to Stull. You can fuck off for all I care.”

Cas sighs hard and world-weary as Dean sulks to the front office, barely managing to be polite when getting a single room. It's not as if the woman at the desk cares anyway, she’s morbidly staring at the TV over Dean's head, watching the world burn as she hands over a room key. Dean takes it with a nod.

When he gets out, Cas is sulking against the Impala. Leaning against her and exuding absolute misery. Dean barely spares him a second glance, storming to his room and unlocking it without looking back. Cas comes in, slamming the door seconds later, just as Dean's untying his boots at the edge of the bed. He looks around the room then perches carefully on the ratty stool. Cas glares at Dean with those solemn beautiful eyes before he speaks, “Dean please reconsider this foolishness.”

Dean snaps. "You're a fucking dick!” He yells pulling off his boots and throwing them at him. Cas doesn’t react angering Dean more. “You’re such an asshole. This is Sam’s dying wish, man, why can’t you just believe that I can do this.”

“Because my brothers are monsters, Dean!” Cas growls back, standing to yell at Dean with wholly righteous fury, “they will murder the world for this fight and they’ll use your brother's body to do it.”

“Don’t you think I know that!” Dean yells, fighting back tears. He springs to his feet and pushes at Cas’s shoulder, “the only chance the world has is me getting through to Sammy so we can go through with our plan. I can reach him, Cas, I know I can.”

“You don’t know that!”

“Yes, I do!”

“Lucifer is a far more powerful being than you or Sam can handle.”

“Sam's the strongest person I know and if you don’t believe that then why the hell are you still here?”

“I’m here because I care about you, Dean. I’m here because seeing Sam get killed by Michael will destroy you and you’ve suffered enough trauma after what Hell put you through,” Cas pauses, taking a breath he may or may not need, then looks Dean dead in the eye. “I’m here because you've suffered enough at the hands of host and by my own hand and the hands of the whole world as far as I’m concerned, and I don’t want you to suffer anymore.” Cas shakes his head and then quietly says, “I’m here because I love you, Dean.”

Dean freezes, caught up in Cas’s gaze before he grabs him by the lapels of his coat. “You're a fucking dick,” Dean says again then kisses him squarely on the mouth. Cas makes a surprised and angry sound but clutches at Dean's shirt. Pulling him in tight and close as he kisses Dean back ferociously, pushing at Dean's shoulders until he’s crowded against the room's shitty table.

Once Cas has got him boxed in, it’s the alleyway all over again - except it’s not, because this time it’s not Cas’s fist that’s attacking him but his mouth. It's hot and aggressive, more biting than kissing and Dean groans into it. He pulls hard on Cas's hair because this is what he needs, not love or apologies but something rough and angry and painful because how dare this asshole make Dean hate him and love him at the same time. How dare he want to take care of Dean and break his heart like it’s a reasonable thing to do. Hell, he tells Cas as much while he bites and licks at Cas’s neck, too fucked off to care anymore about hiding his feelings.

And Cas fucking takes it. He takes every nip and bite, every harsh word, pushing closer and closer to Dean until he’s sitting on the shitty fucking table. Cas stands nice and snug between Dean's spread legs and kisses his mouth, hands squeezing tight on Dean's shoulders. He rocks into Dean, dick hard and straining against his cheap suit pants. Dean groans at that too, pushing off Cas's trenchcoat and jacket until they get stuck at his elbows. The zipper and pants chafe against Dean's dick and it hurts but it’s good, it’s so fucking good. So much so that Deans pulling at Cas’s tie begging for more.

Their shirts and coats are thrown to the floor; their pants are unbuckled and half-heartedly shoved down each others' legs until Dean winds up stretched out on the table. His legs are wrapped tight around Cas’s thighs as he digs his nails into Cas's shoulder blades, thrusting up against Cas’s stomach like it’s the only thing that matters in the world.

It’s then that Cas’s technique changes. Every time Dean pulls at Cas's hair. Cas caresses Dean's skin with his hands touching every inch of him. Every time Dean bites his neck, Cas responds with hot and soothing licks over Dean's collarbone. He places sweet kisses to Dean's cheek and behind his ear. Cas meets every act of Dean's aggression with an act so gentle Dean's trembling beneath him pulling at their underwear so he can fist their dicks together while scoring his nails down Cas’s back.

Cas breathes Dean's name over and over again into his ear, like a prayer. His hand is warm and soothing as it grips the mark he made when he saved Dean from Hell as he rocks into Dean's hand. Cas pants harshly against Dean's cheek and comes, eyes wide and faintly shining blue as he spills all over Dean's stomach with a moan. Dean loses it; he bites down hard on Cas shoulder as he comes apart with a sob at this frustrating heavenly being falling apart on top of him. The sobbing doesn’t stop, even when Cas cradles him tight to his chest.

The tears don’t stop when Cas uses whatever vestige of angelic strength he has left to pick Dean up off the table, gently soothing him as he carries Dean towards the bed. He keeps him close as they lie down together and still Dean keeps crying. Cas kisses his wet cheek, holding him close. Eventually, Dean sighs and sits up. “This means nothing,” he says angrily scrubbing at his face. “I’m still going after Sam.”

Cas closes his eyes. “I know,” he mutters sadly.

“Good,” Dean says lying back down, Cas naked and bruised beside him. He glares at the ceiling until Cas huffs and does the same. Cas eventually nods off, too recently human to even try and fight off sleep.

Dean turns over and stares at his face, at the teeth shaped bruises on his neck and the purple bags under his eyes and feels his heartache. He doesn’t have time to love Cas. Not on what could be their last night on Earth. He doesn’t have time to forgive him either, no matter how much he wants to. He's got a world to try and save first.

Scrubbing his jaw Dean stands and dresses as quietly as possible. Taking the time to throw Cas’s trench coat over his naked body to make sure he doesn't get cold. Cas doesn't stir once and eventually, after looking for longer than he probably should, Dean opens the door and heads for Stull without saying goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and sorry for the pain I promise the next chapter will be something close to hopeful.


	2. Chapter 2

The world doesn't end, but it feels like it has anyway. Dean kneels, the wet grass below him is impossibly green and stained with his blood. He picks up the rings, grips them tight enough they bite at his palm. The ache of his face doesn't even come close to ache in his heart. For the first time in his life, he’s well and truly alone.

 

The wind whips around him and then Dean finds himself looking down a pair of dark patent shoes. He looks up at the familiar trench coat and the sad twist in Cas’s mouth and feels his heart start to beat again. “Cas, you're alive?”

 

Cas doesn't smile just touches Dean's forehead tenderly. White-hot grace caresses Dean's insides, feeling hotter and more soothing than it's ever felt before. Tilting his head Cas drops his hand and says, “I'm better than that.”

 

Dean gets to his feet. Blinking at Cas and knows he’s impossible. “Cas are you God?”

 

Cas’s mouth quirks. “That's a nice compliment. But no. Although I do believe he brought me back. New and improved.” He says, shaking out his wrist before walking over to Bobby. Dean's hands shake, replaying the moment Cas threw the molotov cocktail, the look of fear on his face before Lucifer blasted him away. He’s so caught up in the memory, of the pain he felt at that moment that doesn't even notice Bobby sitting up. Alive and blinking at Cas in shock.

 

He just realises that he's not alone anymore. Cas came back to him.

 

====

 

Driving has always soothed something feral in Dean. Calmed the wild vengeful part of him that hungered for blood. It’s always been the time he’s been his most calm. The most centered. Despite all that driving away from Stull is the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.

 

Having Cas at his side helps, he’s silent and grouchy but alive. Not blown to smithereens like he was after Lucifer clicked his fingers. A bloody chunk on Bobby’s face. Shivering Dean looks at him in the dark of the car. His face lit briefly by passing street lights. He’s so beautiful and powerful and Christ Dean so glad he’s here he’s sick with it.

 

“What are you gonna do now?” He asks, his palms sweating on the steering wheel. It's new, this realization that Dean needs Cas just as much as he needs his brother. Only truly dawning on him the second he saw Cas die. He needs Cas around if he's going to make it through his grief. So despite the fact, he doesn't want an answer, Dean needs to know how long Cas is going to be around now that his _‘mission’_ on Earth is done. He needs to know if his heart is going to break.

 

Cas sighs, looking out the window instead of at Dean. “Return to Heaven, I suppose.” He says gruffly.

 

Feeling like he’s been punched in the gut. Dean glares at the road and asks through gritted teeth, “Your really going back to Heaven?”

 

Cas nods. Still not looking at Dean, a neon blue motel sign shines on him. “With Michael in the Cage, I'm sure it's total anarchy up there.”

 

Dean white knuckles the steering wheel, rage boiling over his pain. “So, what, you're just gonna go up there and try to fix it. After everything they did to you? After everything we’ve been through?”

 

Finally, Cas looks at him, “You're angry.” He says sounding slightly surprised by it.

 

Dean laughs bitterly. “Yeah, that's an understatement.”

 

”Why?” He asks, sounding genuinely confused. Like he doesn’t understand that Dean can still taste Cas’s skin if he looks too long; that he can still feel the shape of Cas’s grace lingering inside his soul.

 

Shaking Dean pushes harder on the gas. ”Because Cas, after everything that happened you're just gonna fuck off and leave!”

 

“This is what you asked for, Dean!” Cas yells finally showing some emotion so Dean can’t even blame this decision on an emotionless reboot. Like what happened in Pontiac. “No paradise. No Hell. Just more of the same.”

 

Dean rolls his eyes. “So what? That doesn’t mean you have to go man.”

 

“Yes Dean, I do!” Cas shouts sounding pained. Like he’s the one being left behind.

 

“Why?” Dean asks bitterly. “Because God resurrected you and now your his bitch again.”

 

“No,” Cas says, he sighs and bites his lip. “I heard what you promised Sam and you deserve that life, Dean. You have your chance to be happy, and I can't interfere with that.”

 

For a second Dean wonders what Cas is talking about. Considering the fact so much has happened since that morning in the car then he remembers, Sam, asking him to go to Lisa’s. To not save him for Hell but live an apple pie life. Like that’s really what Dean wants. Confused he turns to Cas and says, “You really think that’ll make me happy? That living with Lisa — who by the way hasn’t even agreed to that — is just going make me forget about Sammy.” Dean says his voice shaking over his brother's name. Still, he asks, “You really think I could forget about you?”

 

Cas looks down, nervously playing with his tie. “You said it didn't mean anything.”

 

“Yeah because I was still going after Sam, Cas,” Dean says harshly, he’s still pissed as Hell but he forces himself to calm down. He can’t come across as angry when talking about this. Even if Cas knows how to rile him up better than anyone else ever could. He can’t risk saying the wrong thing and pushing Cas away, not this time. “Sex with you wasn't going to change my mind about that.”

 

Cas lifts his head surprised. “You think that's why I slept with you?”

 

Dean shakes his head. “No — I — really don’t know man everything was really fucked up.”

 

“I meant what I said Dean,” Cas says gritting his teeth. “I love you.”

 

“You’re planning on fucking off to Heaven.”

 

“Because I thought you didn't want me!” Cas yells.

 

Dean blinks, wondering what part of him spreading his legs and clinging to Cas in tears gave him that impression. “Yeah well, I do! Jesus, I told you so last night.”

 

“Dean you said you hated me.”

 

“I also said I loved you, dumbass.” Dean snaps pissed at himself and Cas’s obliviousness. Taking a deep breath Dean tries to explain what he actually meant. “Look I was pissed off all right. I hated you for what you were saying because I wasn’t ever leaving Sam like that, and I hate how you were acting like you’ve finally given up on everything. But I don't actually hate you, Cas. I want to be with you. I have for a really long time now, and I can’t do that if you fuck off to Heaven and I go to Lisa’s.”

 

“Oh,” Cas says going limp with relief in the seat.

 

Dean sighs easing off the gas and grabbing Cas’s hand. “There’s a place here if you want it Cas. All you gotta do is stay with me.”

 

Cas looks over at him, then deliberately lifts there joined hands and kisses Dean’s knuckles. “Yes. I want that.”

 

“Good,” Dean says fighting not to blush. He shouldn’t be this relieved, not with Sam in Hell. But he is. It’s not the happiness he promised but with Cas by his side, it might turn into something better than that.

 

Cas hold there joined hands in his lap, stroking over Dean's fingers with his thumb. ”So what do you want to do now?”

 

Dean shrugs, he’s not ready to settle just yet, but he doesn’t want to be hunting for the rest of his life either. He just needs a new start. “Have you ever been to Mexico?”

 

“Not this century,” Cas says nonchalantly. Like it’s perfectly normal to be a million years old.

 

Dean laughs almost silently. Knowing that he’s just gonna have to get used to Cas’s angelic quirks now that he has the time to learn them. “Okay, then we’ll go to Mexico for a while.”

 

“And then?”

 

“I don’t know yet, we’ll figure it out as we go.” Cas smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah heres my slightly hopeful looking to the future ending. I always kinda hated how Cas left and how Sam, Dean and pretty much everyone expected Lisa to take Dean in with open arms while Cas left with some really harsh words and without a goodbye so this is sorta a fix it scene for that one part that made me annoyed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading and sorry for the pain I promise the next chapter will be something close to hopeful. If you have any questions, comments or just want to say hi come visit me on [tumblr](https://wingsandimpalas.tumblr.com/) before it goes up in flames. I love you all.


End file.
